Trust Me?...

To be true in a relationship, one must be true to the very heart of who they are. When we fall in love we want to give our all and more to that other. We want to commit to this one being and be there for them in all ways. We expect trust and honesty and nothing less.

Balance Unconditional Love(picture)

Alas, but fate may have other plans in store for us because one day the unthinkable occurs. True love has deceived us and our whole world has fallen apart and we are heartbroken and devastated! It may not be true love but a friend, our health, or some other life circumstances that we committed our self to that went sour suddenly. Our world comes crashing down around us and we now find it almost impossible to find solid ground to stand upon.

But first, there is the deep disappointment to deal with and the fear, anger, hurt, confusion, and the doubt and shame. It's funny how we can turn something so beautiful as love and/or passion and allow it to become so many other unloving emotions by just one bad thought. But when we are in the midst of our sorrow we are not thinking of what we are doing to our self, but only of how we got here and usually of who or what turned us in this direction. Now we are no longer in trust and when we continue on this path we move into a very insecure foundation for the relationship(s) to operate on. So now we are trusting ourselves less because Trust demands a one hundred percent commitment in order to be present at its very best in the Now Moment.

But who is not Trusting who? It is it me or you, or them or maybe my whole world will fall out of Trust and nothing will ever be the same. At this point, I must say that I am so glad that I have six decades of experience to cushion me in those moments and the good thing about this is that you may believe me when I say that it gets easier in time. But whatever you believe let me not leave you hanging and I will continue with this scenario. So Trust has taken a walk, stage left out of our lives and our world is crashing all around us.

Now we may need someone to blame for the way we are choosing to feel or react to because of what had knocked us off our feet. We may think or believe that by directing anger and hurt toward someone else, that they will actually see how we feel and maybe change things back to some sense of normality. But it is the belief that they have done me wrong that has brought me to this place with no Trust. Without Trust comes a lot of sadness, drama, depression, blame, dysfunctions, addictions etc. The only problem with moving away from Trust is that we now do not trust our self so we now carry doubt very close to us as we attempt to look for answers.

The funny thing about holding on to any limited emotion is that we take our self back into our past and connect with every moment that we felt this way. If we are fragile enough, we may then begin to judge our life by what we are feeling. If we continue to see the relationship that we are dealing with through these eyes, it will obviously begin to crumble. We have chosen a crooked path to walk upon.

Now we are really in a dump and maybe feeling justified to be in this hole we are digging. (Right now I feel as though I used to be so good at beating myself up because this is so easy to share and remember.) Things may even get worse depending on the mental state one is in when experiencing being deceived. So there are a few things I have learned over the years that I must now share. Just see this as food for thought. Feel free to agree or disagree at any time.

First and most important: When we feel hurt the first thing we do is look for someone to blame for our feelings. Never do we stop to think about how “our feelings” can only be created or felt by us and only us. We seek out the object of our blame with the only intention being to make them see, and/or understand how we feel. An impossible mission but one we all attempt many times in our life. This is the point where we are headed down a one way street with a dead end but human nature, being what it is, we continue down the dark alley once again. We may consult with good friends and they attempt to understand what is going on and usually project their own version of what they assume we feel. They also may share their life circumstances that accompany the emotions and give advice based on their own life experience.

Remember this, since we have chosen to “feel this way, it will only get better when we choose not to feel this way anymore. When we actually get that the difficulty is not in trusting the other person to be who we expect them to be but to get back to trusting who we are and the choices that we are about to make. All we can do is get input from this other person and maybe get a sense of where they are coming from. If this is the first time a problem has occurred then it may or may not be easier to make choices. There is a place within us that knows on a soul level exactly what is going on at all times with all relationships. We are all human beings on a spiritual journey (or is it the other way around ?). I believe that this journey guides us through situations to help us grow and mature on a spiritual level. We all cannot choose to live on the mountain away from the material existence, that would make life very boring for many of us. So in the real world, we have created, we must learn to trust those deep gut feeling within us.

Another point I need to make is that when we fall in love and somehow put another being on a bit of a pedestal we actually bring our self down. The fluff around love sometimes blinds us a bit as we go through the “honeymoon stage” of relationships. The intensity of the emotions also mushrooms our vision of who this person is. Sometimes we feel so at one with this person that we think we know exactly who they are. We may even ignore those signs that come up, telling our self that they would never do that to us even though their past history may be somewhat daunting. The truth of the matter is that what we are seeing in that person is actually a mirror of who we are becoming. We see our true selves in the love that we share with others or maybe who we wish to be.

So now its time to find some Trust. In order to do this, we have to decide exactly who we are, what we want, and what we are willing to put up with. We may also have to decide how much work we are actually willing to put into a relationship; how much are you willing to commit to? Sometimes you have to be willing to guide and teach the other how to be in a Trusting relationship. We also have to believe completely in our self and our feelings and our sense of what is going on around us. If you cannot find Trust within you, how will you know how to Trust another?

Oh but the one thing I have learned in my sixty plus years is that I bounce, or fly, or swim and sometimes do the unimaginable without a thought. I have learned to trust the Universe and know that she puts many lessons before me. All the people that I have fallen out with have taught me my greatest lessons in life. The greatest gift I can give myself is to hold them in the light and send them love. The only healthy way to get out of a broken heart or heartbreaking disappointment is to take full responsibility for your emotions and bite the bullet and move forward. Try to understand the strength that you have gained from your experience and the value it has added to you in your life.

Should I or Shouldn’t I

Intention – plan of action; purpose either immediate or ultimate – Webster’s Dictionary

I believe that most of us pass our days by with well meaning intentions but I wonder how often we really get what we actually started out to manifest from the jump?

Seriously, I spend too much of my time in self discovery and I come up with this crazy mind bending stuff and decide to document it and share it. I really have to laugh at myself (lol). Still I realize that I need to refocus my intentions now and this is just a way for me to formulate a plan of action. Since I changed my diet, lost weight and improved my health over the past few months or at least since my blog post on May 7, 2016 http://www.womynsspirituality.com/stories.php from my website Womyns Spirituality, I am actually finally understanding how much I needed to struggle in my life. I chose a tough path to walk when I came onto this plane but there certainly is no need to begrudge myself of an easy flowing life now. Not gonna beat myself up though because I also see how who I was; made me who I am and that is not a bad thing for me.


So after observing the physical, emotional, energetic, and psychic energy and effort that I used to support my journey when I made the commitment to improve my health; provides what is needed for me to refocus in the right direction now. Since I am successful in shifting my health issues around (read the aforementioned article please) I can now move forward with other intentions using the same formula, methods, techniques, whatever they are, to move another aspect of my life into the “flow”. Really, self discovery is a true gem, and has the scent of newly opened roses on a bush in the warm summer breeze. Hmmm. I think it is also soft like the petals of a rose and bright and shiny like a multifaceted diamond and warm as hot sunny day. If you can see the roses and shiny diamonds and smell the delicious scent of the rose and see and feel the beauty of the sun slowly melting beyond the horizon, then you have a very important part of the formula of manifesting ones desires into reality.


It’s the passion and discipline that I put into staying on track with my diet and releasing about eighty percent of my uncontrolled thoughts that resulted in a successful mission. Well, it’s probably the same type of regime that I used to overcome Graves Dysease and Congestive Heart Failure a few years back. Dedication to the cause, to the outcome is essential. An attitude of gratitude and compassion for myself and my environment is also key. It is so true that one’s environment is but a reflection of one’s inner world. Therefore, the truth must be that if you decide that you are and deserve to embrace inner peace and gratification you also start to attract that in you outer environment. Believe me I have made many boo boos by putting out intention and then adding fear, doubt, frustration or some other adverse emotion into the formula and wonder why I attract more of what I have (and am trying to get rid of usually lol)


Gee the healthier I get, the more empowered I become and the more humbled I feel. I think that the more my ego shrinks the closer I become to the little girl in me and I feel like I just need to chill; about everything. So I can boldly say that I got more than I bargained for and I still want more peace and contentment that comes along with feeling better about me and pampering me towards better health and a better life. Again I have to laugh at myself as I unwind my mind like a ball of yarn that is a bit tangled (lol}. Now I have to go into my peaceful place and rest my brain and play some music for a while until those thoughts begin to spin and I once again release..

Cheers!..

Living in the Now and Letting Go of the Then

Having balance is very important in staying healthy in general for all of us. We balance our diet, work and play, relationships, healthy living, finances, emotions and more. We are constantly walking that thin line “between love and hate” on a daily basis.

When I decided to overcome my chronic ails, I also had to make the choice to no longer allow my insecurities and doubts to devour me and thereby rule my existence. It came to light that I had so successfully pushed my cannibalistic thoughts deep down into my mind and that they were affecting me in my every day world. The chronic pain and illness, and constant thinking was taking away from me energetically and weakening me, slowing my forward movement.

My objective was to change my environment so that it embraced the atmosphere of the sacredness that I experienced when I lived on the Sunshine Coast. It was there living in a cabin under the trees by the beach surrounded by nature that I embraced the Wyse Womyn healer within. At the moment that I had the thought that I felt this was lost to me was when I realized that It was my inner environment that needed changing. It was that “light that goes on” when you hit truth. The Wyse Womyn still existed, but it was all the clutter that I was hoarding that was interfering with my relationship with her.

Living in the city was quite a culture shock and I had become more involved in my outer world than I was used to while living on the Coast. There were so many distractions to pull me away from my place of peace and sacredness. I had accustomed myself to being more focused on the material world and the struggle of white collar society.

I must admit that living in the big city (Vancouver Lower Mainland et.al.) and dealing with the trials and tribulations and becoming wrapped up in everyday struggle with everyone else has strengthened me in ways that were necessary. I have overcome a lot of family issues just by being here and making myself available and that has shifted me in a big way. I now have the “Lady Balls” to speak up and deal with things that I used to let just move past me. I also have a clearer insight to things that used to elude me.

The big bonus is that I have cleared so much mental interference and this has allowed my energy to transcend so I am now a vessel for channeling some pretty powerful energy sources. All in all I truly have become a better person by dealing with the material world on a bigger scale. I am so prepared for whatever is to come my way. The Universe only puts before you what you can handle and I am confident that I can handle quite a load at this time.

My challenge right now is balancing my thoughts. I am successfully eliminating the negatives, the “I can’t” and “what ifs” thoughts and replacing them with the energy of love and acceptance. I know that I have to be persistent and teach myself to no longer accept the debilitating string of mental interference that holds me back. The more I release the easier it becomes to stay in the flow and release my attachment to the “then” and live fully in the “now”.

Walking in Darkness

So the last post I wrote ended with a comment of me overcoming some chronic illnesses in my life. Unfortunately, I have allowed a few labels to be placed upon me by the medical profession to explain the aftermath of very traumatic medical experience in my life. So let me first recap and go back a few years, and bring you all up to speed.

I was admitted to the hospital with Graves Dysease (hyperthyroidism) in 2002. During my admittance I was informed that I was in the final stages and at the point where my internal organs were beginning to shut down (as was told by the admittance nurse in the hospital). I actually collapsed on my way into the hospital and was put in a wheel chair as I answered the necessary questions. I have little recollection of much as time blurred in and out for me for a couple of days.

Now how did I get here in this dire state of being? How did I not realize how sick I was? This is how I remember it in my faded memory. I recall not feeling right, a little more nervous than usual. I believe I let that voice in my head take control because I had lost control of my sensibility. Graves’s dysease is about hyperactivity in the thyroid and my whole system was a mess of nervous energy.

I walked and walked; something I used to do as a child to get away from the arguing and violence between my parents. I lived in my head at that time. I remember moments of weakness but I would just sit for a while and then continue walking. I lived alone in North Van and I had isolated myself from family and friends. I remember going for a sauna one day and feeling as though my heart was going to bust out of my body. I lay down for a long time, before going back up to my apartment.

That incident was very scary and got me to thinking sensibly for a moment. I realized that something was wrong. Also I was losing control of my bowel movements. I would sit and cry because I did not know what to do. Fortunately it was Christmas time and my family invited me spend the holidays with them in Langley. I made the decision then that I would call a family meeting and tell them about my situation

It was Boxing Day and I had just attempted to walk up the stairs to take a nap. My heart began pumping as though I was in a race. I lied down for a moment and went back downstairs and told my daughter and my niece that I need to go to the hospital. They took me to a clinic the next day and the doctor (who was filling in for another doctor) knew immediately what was wrong with me. He called the hospital to tell them that I was coming in and had my family take me there ASAP . I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure caused by being in the final stages of Graves Dysease.
I woke up and a very stout nurse with short dark hair was standing over me asking me if I was in pain. I said something like I felt like a truck had run over my chest. She commented that that was what it was like when your heart was a few times larger than normal. She briefed me on how to inject myself with the morphine that was attached to my hand, gave me some water and I drifted off to Neverland.

I felt like I was living in someone else world. I was in a glassed room across the hall from ICU. It was mostly quite at least I think it was. I felt like I just wanted to lie there forever and let everyone around me decide what my life was to be. So what happened to help me mover forward...stay tuned

What's on Your Mind?

You are what you think

As a healer I am constantly on the job with me. Energetically I work on a high level and therefore in order to stay an asset to others I have to stay ahead of the game so to speak. When I lived on the Sunshine Coast of B.C. holding my energy clear and high was a piece of cake. I spent a lot of time outdoors, on the beach in nature. Traffic was at a minimum. I now live in Surrey and it is quite the opposite. It seems there is always some noise and people and cars.

I have recently made some decisions about my healing journey that is challenging me to move past who I am now and forward on my journey. Once I committed to the challenge I realized that my biggest problem was my piece of mind. I had become lazy about monitoring the deeper parts of my mind and this is causing me some stress, depression, physical dyscomfort and dysease in my being. I allowed the noise around me to become the norm within me.

I am so not used to so much noise and confusion and disharmony in my environment. Sirens and accidents, the energy of people shooting each other, being mugged, drug addicts. As an empath I began stuffing all of this just to get it out of the way, ignoring it. I still managed to complain about my environment whenever I got the chance and realize that I have been traumatized by so much unrest around me. Obviously I have been walking down the wrong road.

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here? Well this is the easy part. I return to the peace of mind that I brought with me from the Sunshine Coast because this is something that is mine and no one or nothing can take that away from me. It was my choice at some point to give up that piece of mind and allow the energy of my environment to be influenced by outside forces. I see pictures in my mind of people and situations that I have experienced in the past three years that disturbed this peace and I acknowledge them and allow them to be a part of the peace that is me.

Some of you may not understand how this is going to help me. What I have done in this moment is to take back my power, my energy. I created the disharmony when I allowed other people and situations to influence who I am in my life. I became a product of my environment when I allowed my focus to become what was occurring around me. My peace of mind has always been mine but at some point I decided that the noise around me was more important and the complaining and helplessness that I embraced only enforced it. My mind became busier as it aligned with my environment and I felt more helpless, more unrest and dysease. As I take back my power I realize that I am now the solution and no longer the problem.

Being The Goddess Within

Lately I have been approached by different folk from different walks of life concerning the work that I am involved in, mainly my connection with the Goddess. The articles that I recently wrote on “Aphrodite- The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space” is just my opinion based somewhat on what I have learned through reading, research, listening and working with many Womyn in this area.

The previous blog post on Aphrodite covered just one aspect of the personality of that particular Goddess. I have decided to break down each of the Greek Goddess personalities into categories such as: the Mother/daughter relationship (in the home), environment (out in the world), Profession (complimentary careers), Partners (marriage and unions), the Inner Goddess (the pros and cons of the personality).

I believe that in our search to understand ourselves we may become too attached to one aspect of who we are and may find it difficult to move out of our skin and deal with other areas of our lives. Womyn in her wholeness embraces all aspects of the Goddess as she goes within and grows and accepts who she is. I believe we embrace the different aspects as we deal with what life puts before us.

I also believe that as we allow our creative nature to grow and express ourselves unconsciously we also embrace our deeper inner needs. When this occurs we also let go of the fear of who we are as we become less attached to the ego self and more in tune to our inner needs and desires.

Working with the Goddess is natural and comfortable for me. I feel blessed to be able to connect energetically with this flow of knowledge and wisdom. As I write and channel this information I invite you to join me and continue to send me messages and comments. I am blessed to attract such amazing people into my circle of life.
Blessings

The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space - Aphrodite: Golden Goddess of Love – The Goddess among all people

We all possess some of the qualities of the five Greek Goddesses. At this time I am embracing more of Aphrodite than I have in years. In my maturity and in alignment with the work that I continually do with my five lower bodies (mental, emotional, physical, psychic and spiritual) I am experiencing her much differently.

I am aware of feeling very intimate with myself because I accept who I am more unconditionally. I have been working on a proposal for a radio show I was offered to do and it had me tapping into my comfortable place and pushing deeper into my truth to honesty answer the questions presented.

To fully understand these feelings one must go back to a time when Aphrodite was honored and revered as the Goddess of Love in the temples of ancient times. The temples trained young woman in the pleasure of love and loving. An acolyte had to learn how to look and feel good about herself as a Womyn. She was taught to pay attention to the needs of men to pleasure them and to teach them how to pleasure Womyn. There was ritual and ceremony involved and sex was a sacred union in the Temple.

The Temples were a place of respite for weary travelers and for those who were looking for the sacredness of sexuality. The acolytes were also considered to be teachers and well versed in their fields. Any children birthed in the temples were considered to be the son of God and it was the Temples responsibility to raise them.

Over the past 40 years I have read and researched and absorbed a lot of information around the discovery of the image of the Goddess and anything associated with it. What I have written here comes from that sacred space deep within me that I am connecting with. If you want proof of any of this then you will have to find it for yourself or within yourself. This is what I believe to be true.

I believe that if we taught our children about the sacredness of our Temple, the sacredness of our sexuality it would help them ease a little more through those difficult times of self discovery. I think this would give them a reference point to connect to when they begin to explore. Personally I know that when I consider the value of who I am I tend to make better choices for me and I am less influenced by outside forces.

Find your sacred space within you and dare to feel nurtured and loved and cared for. Encourage yourself to be comfortable in your skin, in your environment, your community, your Universe. Honour your Temple and be love.