Straighten Up - Fly Right - Unwinding Abuse

It is a weak man who stands up in a Womyn's face when she is confronted by another Womyn. If a Womyn does not have the strength to deal with what she puts out then she really should not make herself appear weaker by having her man getting involved in the situation. This tells me that she may be the victim of this type of treatment herself so she does not see the wrongness of it. Womyn especially those who are close and/or family need to lean to resolve there differences with each other as this usually brings them closer eventually, either to each other or with themselves. It may be inner issues related to Self that is healed in order to resolve disputes between them.

I know that the Womyn in my family and extended family often disagree with each other but we keep that between us “girls”. We do not need the men in our lives to speak for us and put them self in jeopardy by jumping into the middle of a situation. I have to say the men in our lives quickly learn that when the Womyn fight and if you chose to get in the middle you might be the one getting hurt. I personally would have no qualms in calling the police if I saw any of the men physically hurting another Womyn. Men are usually built to have more physical strength than we do so if they wish to engage physically they either need to find another man or go to the gym and knock themselves out, or just walk away because they know they are wrong every-time.

If there is a man in your life who pushes you around, physically or emotionally or manipulates you with emotional issues then I tell you straight up, he is wrong every-time. There is no place in anyone's life where this is right or even acceptable. None of us deserve this type of treatment from anyone in any way, shape or form. So at this point if this creates a reaction in you then maybe the proceeding statements will also (not applicable to every situation) ring some truth.

You may be attracting this energy into your life. The only way this is happening is because at some time you gave permission to this individual to communicate in this manner. It may be that you did not have the communication skills necessary to “nip it in the bud”, from the beginning and you thus became a victim of the circumstances. If you feel like a victim then I suggest you deal with that immediately. Do whatever you need to stop having these emotions. Go see a professional or demand that your “stalker” either stop go see someone to help with their issues. Tell someone about it right in front of your offender. Use your voice. If you do not feel safe to do this then you are in a situation that you may need to remove yourself from immediately.

Relationships are a lot about communicate and healthy communication is essential. Healthy emotions are required in order to have healthy communication. It is impossible to have a fruitful conversation when all you are doing is throwing unhealthy emotions back and forth and expecting the other person to be responsible for them. You are the Priestess in your Temple and it is your responsibility to care and nurture your emotions to a vibration that will attract like energy. Relationships that are “glued” together because of not wanting to upset the other by saying or doing the wrong thing are straight up wrong in so many ways.

My point is that if you are going to do a long term relationship than we should honour ourselves by at least doing it right. That actually is the trick to it. Honour thyself at all times. No one is going to show us the respect that we feel we deserve if at some level we actually feel that we do not deserve it. Holding on to emotions of fear and feeling like a victim will be the energy that we are putting out no matter what level we are feeling it. Hiding or denying how we feel will not change that energy. It is all you and it is what the Universe is receiving from you and returning to you because it is the frequency that you are broadcasting. Let go of the inner victim. Do the work necessary to accomplish this and you will change your life. When you feel like a victim you usually also feel as though you do not have full control of your life and this can spill over into other areas of your life, such as your finances, or your children. Your truly are what you believe so please work on believing that you are truly amazing and able to accomplish all of your intentions with the will of the Creator. You are too beautiful to be abused or misused in any way and you deserve the respect and love of all those around you. Even your disagreements should result in bringing more love into your life. When we choose to learn to love ourselves unconditionally then we are ready to create the best life possible.

What Dreams Are Made Of

How do you live your life without experiencing your dreams? How do you integrate your passions into your material world? When do you make decisions of paying a fat mortgage, never-ending car payments, designer clothes, the latest new gadgets over spiritual gratification? How do you bring yourself back from getting so tightly wrapped into that spiral of trying to find satisfaction in the material world? When do we stop and follow our dreams?

Many of us work really hard to have the things that are important for us in our lives. Sometimes we become so focused on what we have to do that we forget about our passions. We may go on day in and day out determined to maintain our everyday routine because it fulfills our material manifestations. We may be dying inside every day and ignoring it because everything on the outside is taken care of. One day someone like me, for instance, may ask you “Why are you struggling so much doing something that does not make you happy?” The answer I usually get is the same. “I am doing this because it gives me enough money to pay my bills and take care of my life and if I don't do this, if I follow my passions my material world will fall apart.” Now, this really is being stuck between a rock and a hard thing. But this is also a very familiar place for most of us.

I have witnessed people whose lives begin to fall into pieces, and they keep patching the pieces together; holding on to the strings of what they need to do to survive. They may become stressed and worn from patching their lives together but they keep holding on to those strings, tying knots and praying for their lives to get better. The older a person is and the more responsibility they have taken on seems to secure the anchor that holds them in these patterns.

Sometimes they share their dreams with me, dreams that they have pushed aside because they have convinced them self that they cannot move on and pick up the dream where they left off lifetimes ago. It is when they truly feel that this is their duty, their responsibility that they become so ingrained in being that person. They feel that they will let everyone down who depends upon them if they stop for a minute to actually look at the possibility of doing something else.

My question is, “How do you live your life without experiencing your dreams?” Why make it so difficult to find and have more joy in your life. How dare you make your family or any part of your life an excuse for not opening up to the creative forces within you. When did having a hobby become obsolete? I remember a time when having a hobby was normal and encouraged. I remember my mother as a single parent used to buy my brothers miniature models, fish, turtles, and sports and other boy things to spark their interest. With us girls, she gave books to read, taught us how to knit and crochet, encourage us to sew and cook and lessons in skating and swimming. She taught us all card games and board games always working towards keeping our hands busy and our minds open.

How do you walk away from that much creativity as a child and become an adult with no outside interest besides working and having a beer and watching TV.? What makes your curiosity blank out completely and keep you stuck in thinking you cannot express your creative desires because you are grown and busy? Have you become your father or mother or the father or mother that you never had. Are you trying to prove something to yourself? Where did your passion go, where is it hiding?

What were your dreams made of in that long ago time? Can you still see them, touch them, feel them? If you can then it is so easy to get up and do them. It just takes one thought to follow through with just one time. Let go and see where it takes you.

Trust Me?...

To be true in a relationship, one must be true to the very heart of who they are. When we fall in love we want to give our all and more to that other. We want to commit to this one being and be there for them in all ways. We expect trust and honesty and nothing less.

Balance Unconditional Love(picture)

Alas, but fate may have other plans in store for us because one day the unthinkable occurs. True love has deceived us and our whole world has fallen apart and we are heartbroken and devastated! It may not be true love but a friend, our health, or some other life circumstances that we committed our self to that went sour suddenly. Our world comes crashing down around us and we now find it almost impossible to find solid ground to stand upon.

But first, there is the deep disappointment to deal with and the fear, anger, hurt, confusion, and the doubt and shame. It's funny how we can turn something so beautiful as love and/or passion and allow it to become so many other unloving emotions by just one bad thought. But when we are in the midst of our sorrow we are not thinking of what we are doing to our self, but only of how we got here and usually of who or what turned us in this direction. Now we are no longer in trust and when we continue on this path we move into a very insecure foundation for the relationship(s) to operate on. So now we are trusting ourselves less because Trust demands a one hundred percent commitment in order to be present at its very best in the Now Moment.

But who is not Trusting who? It is it me or you, or them or maybe my whole world will fall out of Trust and nothing will ever be the same. At this point, I must say that I am so glad that I have six decades of experience to cushion me in those moments and the good thing about this is that you may believe me when I say that it gets easier in time. But whatever you believe let me not leave you hanging and I will continue with this scenario. So Trust has taken a walk, stage left out of our lives and our world is crashing all around us.

Now we may need someone to blame for the way we are choosing to feel or react to because of what had knocked us off our feet. We may think or believe that by directing anger and hurt toward someone else, that they will actually see how we feel and maybe change things back to some sense of normality. But it is the belief that they have done me wrong that has brought me to this place with no Trust. Without Trust comes a lot of sadness, drama, depression, blame, dysfunctions, addictions etc. The only problem with moving away from Trust is that we now do not trust our self so we now carry doubt very close to us as we attempt to look for answers.

The funny thing about holding on to any limited emotion is that we take our self back into our past and connect with every moment that we felt this way. If we are fragile enough, we may then begin to judge our life by what we are feeling. If we continue to see the relationship that we are dealing with through these eyes, it will obviously begin to crumble. We have chosen a crooked path to walk upon.

Now we are really in a dump and maybe feeling justified to be in this hole we are digging. (Right now I feel as though I used to be so good at beating myself up because this is so easy to share and remember.) Things may even get worse depending on the mental state one is in when experiencing being deceived. So there are a few things I have learned over the years that I must now share. Just see this as food for thought. Feel free to agree or disagree at any time.

First and most important: When we feel hurt the first thing we do is look for someone to blame for our feelings. Never do we stop to think about how “our feelings” can only be created or felt by us and only us. We seek out the object of our blame with the only intention being to make them see, and/or understand how we feel. An impossible mission but one we all attempt many times in our life. This is the point where we are headed down a one way street with a dead end but human nature, being what it is, we continue down the dark alley once again. We may consult with good friends and they attempt to understand what is going on and usually project their own version of what they assume we feel. They also may share their life circumstances that accompany the emotions and give advice based on their own life experience.

Remember this, since we have chosen to “feel this way, it will only get better when we choose not to feel this way anymore. When we actually get that the difficulty is not in trusting the other person to be who we expect them to be but to get back to trusting who we are and the choices that we are about to make. All we can do is get input from this other person and maybe get a sense of where they are coming from. If this is the first time a problem has occurred then it may or may not be easier to make choices. There is a place within us that knows on a soul level exactly what is going on at all times with all relationships. We are all human beings on a spiritual journey (or is it the other way around ?). I believe that this journey guides us through situations to help us grow and mature on a spiritual level. We all cannot choose to live on the mountain away from the material existence, that would make life very boring for many of us. So in the real world, we have created, we must learn to trust those deep gut feeling within us.

Another point I need to make is that when we fall in love and somehow put another being on a bit of a pedestal we actually bring our self down. The fluff around love sometimes blinds us a bit as we go through the “honeymoon stage” of relationships. The intensity of the emotions also mushrooms our vision of who this person is. Sometimes we feel so at one with this person that we think we know exactly who they are. We may even ignore those signs that come up, telling our self that they would never do that to us even though their past history may be somewhat daunting. The truth of the matter is that what we are seeing in that person is actually a mirror of who we are becoming. We see our true selves in the love that we share with others or maybe who we wish to be.

So now its time to find some Trust. In order to do this, we have to decide exactly who we are, what we want, and what we are willing to put up with. We may also have to decide how much work we are actually willing to put into a relationship; how much are you willing to commit to? Sometimes you have to be willing to guide and teach the other how to be in a Trusting relationship. We also have to believe completely in our self and our feelings and our sense of what is going on around us. If you cannot find Trust within you, how will you know how to Trust another?

Oh but the one thing I have learned in my sixty plus years is that I bounce, or fly, or swim and sometimes do the unimaginable without a thought. I have learned to trust the Universe and know that she puts many lessons before me. All the people that I have fallen out with have taught me my greatest lessons in life. The greatest gift I can give myself is to hold them in the light and send them love. The only healthy way to get out of a broken heart or heartbreaking disappointment is to take full responsibility for your emotions and bite the bullet and move forward. Try to understand the strength that you have gained from your experience and the value it has added to you in your life.