Walking in Darkness

So the last post I wrote ended with a comment of me overcoming some chronic illnesses in my life. Unfortunately, I have allowed a few labels to be placed upon me by the medical profession to explain the aftermath of very traumatic medical experience in my life. So let me first recap and go back a few years, and bring you all up to speed.

I was admitted to the hospital with Graves Dysease (hyperthyroidism) in 2002. During my admittance I was informed that I was in the final stages and at the point where my internal organs were beginning to shut down (as was told by the admittance nurse in the hospital). I actually collapsed on my way into the hospital and was put in a wheel chair as I answered the necessary questions. I have little recollection of much as time blurred in and out for me for a couple of days.

Now how did I get here in this dire state of being? How did I not realize how sick I was? This is how I remember it in my faded memory. I recall not feeling right, a little more nervous than usual. I believe I let that voice in my head take control because I had lost control of my sensibility. Graves’s dysease is about hyperactivity in the thyroid and my whole system was a mess of nervous energy.

I walked and walked; something I used to do as a child to get away from the arguing and violence between my parents. I lived in my head at that time. I remember moments of weakness but I would just sit for a while and then continue walking. I lived alone in North Van and I had isolated myself from family and friends. I remember going for a sauna one day and feeling as though my heart was going to bust out of my body. I lay down for a long time, before going back up to my apartment.

That incident was very scary and got me to thinking sensibly for a moment. I realized that something was wrong. Also I was losing control of my bowel movements. I would sit and cry because I did not know what to do. Fortunately it was Christmas time and my family invited me spend the holidays with them in Langley. I made the decision then that I would call a family meeting and tell them about my situation

It was Boxing Day and I had just attempted to walk up the stairs to take a nap. My heart began pumping as though I was in a race. I lied down for a moment and went back downstairs and told my daughter and my niece that I need to go to the hospital. They took me to a clinic the next day and the doctor (who was filling in for another doctor) knew immediately what was wrong with me. He called the hospital to tell them that I was coming in and had my family take me there ASAP . I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure caused by being in the final stages of Graves Dysease.
I woke up and a very stout nurse with short dark hair was standing over me asking me if I was in pain. I said something like I felt like a truck had run over my chest. She commented that that was what it was like when your heart was a few times larger than normal. She briefed me on how to inject myself with the morphine that was attached to my hand, gave me some water and I drifted off to Neverland.

I felt like I was living in someone else world. I was in a glassed room across the hall from ICU. It was mostly quite at least I think it was. I felt like I just wanted to lie there forever and let everyone around me decide what my life was to be. So what happened to help me mover forward...stay tuned

What's on Your Mind?

You are what you think

As a healer I am constantly on the job with me. Energetically I work on a high level and therefore in order to stay an asset to others I have to stay ahead of the game so to speak. When I lived on the Sunshine Coast of B.C. holding my energy clear and high was a piece of cake. I spent a lot of time outdoors, on the beach in nature. Traffic was at a minimum. I now live in Surrey and it is quite the opposite. It seems there is always some noise and people and cars.

I have recently made some decisions about my healing journey that is challenging me to move past who I am now and forward on my journey. Once I committed to the challenge I realized that my biggest problem was my piece of mind. I had become lazy about monitoring the deeper parts of my mind and this is causing me some stress, depression, physical dyscomfort and dysease in my being. I allowed the noise around me to become the norm within me.

I am so not used to so much noise and confusion and disharmony in my environment. Sirens and accidents, the energy of people shooting each other, being mugged, drug addicts. As an empath I began stuffing all of this just to get it out of the way, ignoring it. I still managed to complain about my environment whenever I got the chance and realize that I have been traumatized by so much unrest around me. Obviously I have been walking down the wrong road.

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here? Well this is the easy part. I return to the peace of mind that I brought with me from the Sunshine Coast because this is something that is mine and no one or nothing can take that away from me. It was my choice at some point to give up that piece of mind and allow the energy of my environment to be influenced by outside forces. I see pictures in my mind of people and situations that I have experienced in the past three years that disturbed this peace and I acknowledge them and allow them to be a part of the peace that is me.

Some of you may not understand how this is going to help me. What I have done in this moment is to take back my power, my energy. I created the disharmony when I allowed other people and situations to influence who I am in my life. I became a product of my environment when I allowed my focus to become what was occurring around me. My peace of mind has always been mine but at some point I decided that the noise around me was more important and the complaining and helplessness that I embraced only enforced it. My mind became busier as it aligned with my environment and I felt more helpless, more unrest and dysease. As I take back my power I realize that I am now the solution and no longer the problem.

Following my Purpose

The very first time I encountered Afrikan Divination was at a psychic Fair in Vancouver. Before I actually stepped firmly into myself as a Psychic Healer I used to be in awe of Psychic Fairs. Rather I was drawn to them and tried to spend as much time as possible at them. I usually had a reading but would also spend the weekend examining all the different techniques and modalities. It was in the mid eighties that I was introduced to Reiki.

My parents loved to garden and since early childhood I would curiously listen as they shared their relationship with the plants and weeds in the back yard. My grandfather (Mom’s dad) declared that it was only natural for me to show an interest in plants because his first wife, my grandmother used plants for healing.

Hands-on-healing was as natural to me as communing with the vegetation around me. I recall watching an old black and white movies about a faith healer with my mother (maybe it was not so old at the time…) She told me that people actually could help others heal with their hands and then suggested that maybe I could do that. That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that thought stayed with me throughout the years.

My life naturally flowed into being a Spiritual Healer after receiving my Reiki. I participated in psychic fairs throughout the interior of B.C., in Alberta, Ontario and just across the border in Blaine. I enjoy the work immensely and I know that this is my path, my purpose. I am now just learning to relax and enjoy not only my passion as a healer but my passions in life, for living and enjoying life to the fullest.

I am now preparing to step firmly into the role as a Teacher on a wider scale. I have accumulated so much knowledge over the past sixty five years and I know that there are many out there who will benefit from me as I will benefit from them. There are a wide scope of presentations and events to come, just stayed tuned to this site and/or leave a comment, make a suggestion or call or Facebook me. I would also love to collaborate with you on a project.