Walking in Darkness

So the last post I wrote ended with a comment of me overcoming some chronic illnesses in my life. Unfortunately, I have allowed a few labels to be placed upon me by the medical profession to explain the aftermath of very traumatic medical experience in my life. So let me first recap and go back a few years, and bring you all up to speed.

I was admitted to the hospital with Graves Dysease (hyperthyroidism) in 2002. During my admittance I was informed that I was in the final stages and at the point where my internal organs were beginning to shut down (as was told by the admittance nurse in the hospital). I actually collapsed on my way into the hospital and was put in a wheel chair as I answered the necessary questions. I have little recollection of much as time blurred in and out for me for a couple of days.

Now how did I get here in this dire state of being? How did I not realize how sick I was? This is how I remember it in my faded memory. I recall not feeling right, a little more nervous than usual. I believe I let that voice in my head take control because I had lost control of my sensibility. Graves’s dysease is about hyperactivity in the thyroid and my whole system was a mess of nervous energy.

I walked and walked; something I used to do as a child to get away from the arguing and violence between my parents. I lived in my head at that time. I remember moments of weakness but I would just sit for a while and then continue walking. I lived alone in North Van and I had isolated myself from family and friends. I remember going for a sauna one day and feeling as though my heart was going to bust out of my body. I lay down for a long time, before going back up to my apartment.

That incident was very scary and got me to thinking sensibly for a moment. I realized that something was wrong. Also I was losing control of my bowel movements. I would sit and cry because I did not know what to do. Fortunately it was Christmas time and my family invited me spend the holidays with them in Langley. I made the decision then that I would call a family meeting and tell them about my situation

It was Boxing Day and I had just attempted to walk up the stairs to take a nap. My heart began pumping as though I was in a race. I lied down for a moment and went back downstairs and told my daughter and my niece that I need to go to the hospital. They took me to a clinic the next day and the doctor (who was filling in for another doctor) knew immediately what was wrong with me. He called the hospital to tell them that I was coming in and had my family take me there ASAP . I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure caused by being in the final stages of Graves Dysease.
I woke up and a very stout nurse with short dark hair was standing over me asking me if I was in pain. I said something like I felt like a truck had run over my chest. She commented that that was what it was like when your heart was a few times larger than normal. She briefed me on how to inject myself with the morphine that was attached to my hand, gave me some water and I drifted off to Neverland.

I felt like I was living in someone else world. I was in a glassed room across the hall from ICU. It was mostly quite at least I think it was. I felt like I just wanted to lie there forever and let everyone around me decide what my life was to be. So what happened to help me mover forward...stay tuned

Being The Goddess Within

Lately I have been approached by different folk from different walks of life concerning the work that I am involved in, mainly my connection with the Goddess. The articles that I recently wrote on “Aphrodite- The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space” is just my opinion based somewhat on what I have learned through reading, research, listening and working with many Womyn in this area.

The previous blog post on Aphrodite covered just one aspect of the personality of that particular Goddess. I have decided to break down each of the Greek Goddess personalities into categories such as: the Mother/daughter relationship (in the home), environment (out in the world), Profession (complimentary careers), Partners (marriage and unions), the Inner Goddess (the pros and cons of the personality).

I believe that in our search to understand ourselves we may become too attached to one aspect of who we are and may find it difficult to move out of our skin and deal with other areas of our lives. Womyn in her wholeness embraces all aspects of the Goddess as she goes within and grows and accepts who she is. I believe we embrace the different aspects as we deal with what life puts before us.

I also believe that as we allow our creative nature to grow and express ourselves unconsciously we also embrace our deeper inner needs. When this occurs we also let go of the fear of who we are as we become less attached to the ego self and more in tune to our inner needs and desires.

Working with the Goddess is natural and comfortable for me. I feel blessed to be able to connect energetically with this flow of knowledge and wisdom. As I write and channel this information I invite you to join me and continue to send me messages and comments. I am blessed to attract such amazing people into my circle of life.
Blessings

The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space - Aphrodite: Golden Goddess of Love – The Goddess among all people

We all possess some of the qualities of the five Greek Goddesses. At this time I am embracing more of Aphrodite than I have in years. In my maturity and in alignment with the work that I continually do with my five lower bodies (mental, emotional, physical, psychic and spiritual) I am experiencing her much differently.

I am aware of feeling very intimate with myself because I accept who I am more unconditionally. I have been working on a proposal for a radio show I was offered to do and it had me tapping into my comfortable place and pushing deeper into my truth to honesty answer the questions presented.

To fully understand these feelings one must go back to a time when Aphrodite was honored and revered as the Goddess of Love in the temples of ancient times. The temples trained young woman in the pleasure of love and loving. An acolyte had to learn how to look and feel good about herself as a Womyn. She was taught to pay attention to the needs of men to pleasure them and to teach them how to pleasure Womyn. There was ritual and ceremony involved and sex was a sacred union in the Temple.

The Temples were a place of respite for weary travelers and for those who were looking for the sacredness of sexuality. The acolytes were also considered to be teachers and well versed in their fields. Any children birthed in the temples were considered to be the son of God and it was the Temples responsibility to raise them.

Over the past 40 years I have read and researched and absorbed a lot of information around the discovery of the image of the Goddess and anything associated with it. What I have written here comes from that sacred space deep within me that I am connecting with. If you want proof of any of this then you will have to find it for yourself or within yourself. This is what I believe to be true.

I believe that if we taught our children about the sacredness of our Temple, the sacredness of our sexuality it would help them ease a little more through those difficult times of self discovery. I think this would give them a reference point to connect to when they begin to explore. Personally I know that when I consider the value of who I am I tend to make better choices for me and I am less influenced by outside forces.

Find your sacred space within you and dare to feel nurtured and loved and cared for. Encourage yourself to be comfortable in your skin, in your environment, your community, your Universe. Honour your Temple and be love.

Following my Purpose

The very first time I encountered Afrikan Divination was at a psychic Fair in Vancouver. Before I actually stepped firmly into myself as a Psychic Healer I used to be in awe of Psychic Fairs. Rather I was drawn to them and tried to spend as much time as possible at them. I usually had a reading but would also spend the weekend examining all the different techniques and modalities. It was in the mid eighties that I was introduced to Reiki.

My parents loved to garden and since early childhood I would curiously listen as they shared their relationship with the plants and weeds in the back yard. My grandfather (Mom’s dad) declared that it was only natural for me to show an interest in plants because his first wife, my grandmother used plants for healing.

Hands-on-healing was as natural to me as communing with the vegetation around me. I recall watching an old black and white movies about a faith healer with my mother (maybe it was not so old at the time…) She told me that people actually could help others heal with their hands and then suggested that maybe I could do that. That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that thought stayed with me throughout the years.

My life naturally flowed into being a Spiritual Healer after receiving my Reiki. I participated in psychic fairs throughout the interior of B.C., in Alberta, Ontario and just across the border in Blaine. I enjoy the work immensely and I know that this is my path, my purpose. I am now just learning to relax and enjoy not only my passion as a healer but my passions in life, for living and enjoying life to the fullest.

I am now preparing to step firmly into the role as a Teacher on a wider scale. I have accumulated so much knowledge over the past sixty five years and I know that there are many out there who will benefit from me as I will benefit from them. There are a wide scope of presentations and events to come, just stayed tuned to this site and/or leave a comment, make a suggestion or call or Facebook me. I would also love to collaborate with you on a project.