A Passion for Success

What thoughts will run through your mind when you contemplate the past year to yourself. How will you feel? Where will these memories take you? What was your biggest blessing? How have you affected others in your life for the past year?

How do these questions affect you as you read them? Do you feel as though you were taken on a ride over the past year or have you accomplished some preset goals that you made for yourself? We are what and who we think we are and we live what we believe. We may set goals to reach and sometimes they happen and sometimes sh_t happens. So how do we avoid the latter from happening?

It really is true that we live what we think. We may believe that we are putting forth the energy we need to manifest in our lives but when was the last time you stopped to listen to the nagging voice in the background of your mind? For instance, maybe you walk past a store and see something that you really like and have wanted for a while on sale. Your first instinct is to go in and buy it, but that little voice from nowhere starts in on you ”You can't afford it, It won't look good on you, you are too fat today. You don't really need it.” and so forth and so on. But then maybe its an opportunity that presents itself through an acquaintance when you least expect it to and the volume goes up on the background gibberish in your mind “I am not really prepared for this right now. He may think my idea is crazy. She probably does not want to be bothered right now. Self-sabotage is so common and the source is always our insecurities.

We can blame it on karma, the past, someone or something else but it's like a boomerang, it will always come back to you. First of all, have gratitude for what you have accomplished over the past year no matter how menial you may think it is. No matter how small it is the little things that matter and make a difference. We can pass these moments of insecurity off as little things but it may be these little things that are keeping us from accomplishing that one big thing that we have on our minds. If we have a passion for something, we must not allow these little thoughts that have stopped us before to get in the way. When we allow our passion to take over it creates a flow that allows us to move almost effortlessly to what we desire.

The only way to move past these little moments is to find a way to nip them in the bud at the source. You can only address them in the Now moment. Your insecurities are based on your Root chakra which is an energy disc located around the lower back between the hips. See this area as a comforting red color and breath into it. When you hear that nagging or feel the emotion that comes with it, change the feeling to a more uplifting or successful feeling and turn that thought around. The message you send in there is” I am worthy and I deserve this right now.” and use this message as a mantra to manifest all that you desire. Take your passions like a bull by the horns and direct them with the energy of success. Make this new year, a year of more success in your life.

Walking in Darkness

So the last post I wrote ended with a comment of me overcoming some chronic illnesses in my life. Unfortunately, I have allowed a few labels to be placed upon me by the medical profession to explain the aftermath of very traumatic medical experience in my life. So let me first recap and go back a few years, and bring you all up to speed.

I was admitted to the hospital with Graves Dysease (hyperthyroidism) in 2002. During my admittance I was informed that I was in the final stages and at the point where my internal organs were beginning to shut down (as was told by the admittance nurse in the hospital). I actually collapsed on my way into the hospital and was put in a wheel chair as I answered the necessary questions. I have little recollection of much as time blurred in and out for me for a couple of days.

Now how did I get here in this dire state of being? How did I not realize how sick I was? This is how I remember it in my faded memory. I recall not feeling right, a little more nervous than usual. I believe I let that voice in my head take control because I had lost control of my sensibility. Graves’s dysease is about hyperactivity in the thyroid and my whole system was a mess of nervous energy.

I walked and walked; something I used to do as a child to get away from the arguing and violence between my parents. I lived in my head at that time. I remember moments of weakness but I would just sit for a while and then continue walking. I lived alone in North Van and I had isolated myself from family and friends. I remember going for a sauna one day and feeling as though my heart was going to bust out of my body. I lay down for a long time, before going back up to my apartment.

That incident was very scary and got me to thinking sensibly for a moment. I realized that something was wrong. Also I was losing control of my bowel movements. I would sit and cry because I did not know what to do. Fortunately it was Christmas time and my family invited me spend the holidays with them in Langley. I made the decision then that I would call a family meeting and tell them about my situation

It was Boxing Day and I had just attempted to walk up the stairs to take a nap. My heart began pumping as though I was in a race. I lied down for a moment and went back downstairs and told my daughter and my niece that I need to go to the hospital. They took me to a clinic the next day and the doctor (who was filling in for another doctor) knew immediately what was wrong with me. He called the hospital to tell them that I was coming in and had my family take me there ASAP . I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure caused by being in the final stages of Graves Dysease.
I woke up and a very stout nurse with short dark hair was standing over me asking me if I was in pain. I said something like I felt like a truck had run over my chest. She commented that that was what it was like when your heart was a few times larger than normal. She briefed me on how to inject myself with the morphine that was attached to my hand, gave me some water and I drifted off to Neverland.

I felt like I was living in someone else world. I was in a glassed room across the hall from ICU. It was mostly quite at least I think it was. I felt like I just wanted to lie there forever and let everyone around me decide what my life was to be. So what happened to help me mover forward...stay tuned

Surrey music scene

Well, it has been a while since I wrote a post. I was actually reading over my posts from February and was amazed at how much work I have been doing and how much my boundaries have increased. My social circles have broadened I have great new friends and activities happening in my life. I even have a weekly "Mother and Son" karaoke evening at Jack's Public House on Monday night in Fleetwood. Please come join us if you wish, it starts about 8ish and they also have an acoustic only jam on Wednesday evenings at this venue. Other great evenings are the open mic jam on Friday and karaoke on Wednesday at the Barrel Public House in Newton starting about 7. Come early if you want to perform on Friday as you have to sign up for this one and the list gets long. So many awesome perfomers and musicians at this event which also pours out into the Loft Bar and Grill in Cloverdale on Saturday evening and Sunday out on the patio. News is that there is also a great open mic at Donegals Pub on Thrusday evenings in Surrey. That leaves Tuesday which in truth I have forgotten, but have been told of a open mic somewhere. Let me know if you have ears on this one.