Walking in Darkness

So the last post I wrote ended with a comment of me overcoming some chronic illnesses in my life. Unfortunately, I have allowed a few labels to be placed upon me by the medical profession to explain the aftermath of very traumatic medical experience in my life. So let me first recap and go back a few years, and bring you all up to speed.

I was admitted to the hospital with Graves Dysease (hyperthyroidism) in 2002. During my admittance I was informed that I was in the final stages and at the point where my internal organs were beginning to shut down (as was told by the admittance nurse in the hospital). I actually collapsed on my way into the hospital and was put in a wheel chair as I answered the necessary questions. I have little recollection of much as time blurred in and out for me for a couple of days.

Now how did I get here in this dire state of being? How did I not realize how sick I was? This is how I remember it in my faded memory. I recall not feeling right, a little more nervous than usual. I believe I let that voice in my head take control because I had lost control of my sensibility. Graves’s dysease is about hyperactivity in the thyroid and my whole system was a mess of nervous energy.

I walked and walked; something I used to do as a child to get away from the arguing and violence between my parents. I lived in my head at that time. I remember moments of weakness but I would just sit for a while and then continue walking. I lived alone in North Van and I had isolated myself from family and friends. I remember going for a sauna one day and feeling as though my heart was going to bust out of my body. I lay down for a long time, before going back up to my apartment.

That incident was very scary and got me to thinking sensibly for a moment. I realized that something was wrong. Also I was losing control of my bowel movements. I would sit and cry because I did not know what to do. Fortunately it was Christmas time and my family invited me spend the holidays with them in Langley. I made the decision then that I would call a family meeting and tell them about my situation

It was Boxing Day and I had just attempted to walk up the stairs to take a nap. My heart began pumping as though I was in a race. I lied down for a moment and went back downstairs and told my daughter and my niece that I need to go to the hospital. They took me to a clinic the next day and the doctor (who was filling in for another doctor) knew immediately what was wrong with me. He called the hospital to tell them that I was coming in and had my family take me there ASAP . I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure caused by being in the final stages of Graves Dysease.
I woke up and a very stout nurse with short dark hair was standing over me asking me if I was in pain. I said something like I felt like a truck had run over my chest. She commented that that was what it was like when your heart was a few times larger than normal. She briefed me on how to inject myself with the morphine that was attached to my hand, gave me some water and I drifted off to Neverland.

I felt like I was living in someone else world. I was in a glassed room across the hall from ICU. It was mostly quite at least I think it was. I felt like I just wanted to lie there forever and let everyone around me decide what my life was to be. So what happened to help me mover forward...stay tuned

What's on Your Mind?

You are what you think

As a healer I am constantly on the job with me. Energetically I work on a high level and therefore in order to stay an asset to others I have to stay ahead of the game so to speak. When I lived on the Sunshine Coast of B.C. holding my energy clear and high was a piece of cake. I spent a lot of time outdoors, on the beach in nature. Traffic was at a minimum. I now live in Surrey and it is quite the opposite. It seems there is always some noise and people and cars.

I have recently made some decisions about my healing journey that is challenging me to move past who I am now and forward on my journey. Once I committed to the challenge I realized that my biggest problem was my piece of mind. I had become lazy about monitoring the deeper parts of my mind and this is causing me some stress, depression, physical dyscomfort and dysease in my being. I allowed the noise around me to become the norm within me.

I am so not used to so much noise and confusion and disharmony in my environment. Sirens and accidents, the energy of people shooting each other, being mugged, drug addicts. As an empath I began stuffing all of this just to get it out of the way, ignoring it. I still managed to complain about my environment whenever I got the chance and realize that I have been traumatized by so much unrest around me. Obviously I have been walking down the wrong road.

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here? Well this is the easy part. I return to the peace of mind that I brought with me from the Sunshine Coast because this is something that is mine and no one or nothing can take that away from me. It was my choice at some point to give up that piece of mind and allow the energy of my environment to be influenced by outside forces. I see pictures in my mind of people and situations that I have experienced in the past three years that disturbed this peace and I acknowledge them and allow them to be a part of the peace that is me.

Some of you may not understand how this is going to help me. What I have done in this moment is to take back my power, my energy. I created the disharmony when I allowed other people and situations to influence who I am in my life. I became a product of my environment when I allowed my focus to become what was occurring around me. My peace of mind has always been mine but at some point I decided that the noise around me was more important and the complaining and helplessness that I embraced only enforced it. My mind became busier as it aligned with my environment and I felt more helpless, more unrest and dysease. As I take back my power I realize that I am now the solution and no longer the problem.

Being The Goddess Within

Lately I have been approached by different folk from different walks of life concerning the work that I am involved in, mainly my connection with the Goddess. The articles that I recently wrote on “Aphrodite- The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space” is just my opinion based somewhat on what I have learned through reading, research, listening and working with many Womyn in this area.

The previous blog post on Aphrodite covered just one aspect of the personality of that particular Goddess. I have decided to break down each of the Greek Goddess personalities into categories such as: the Mother/daughter relationship (in the home), environment (out in the world), Profession (complimentary careers), Partners (marriage and unions), the Inner Goddess (the pros and cons of the personality).

I believe that in our search to understand ourselves we may become too attached to one aspect of who we are and may find it difficult to move out of our skin and deal with other areas of our lives. Womyn in her wholeness embraces all aspects of the Goddess as she goes within and grows and accepts who she is. I believe we embrace the different aspects as we deal with what life puts before us.

I also believe that as we allow our creative nature to grow and express ourselves unconsciously we also embrace our deeper inner needs. When this occurs we also let go of the fear of who we are as we become less attached to the ego self and more in tune to our inner needs and desires.

Working with the Goddess is natural and comfortable for me. I feel blessed to be able to connect energetically with this flow of knowledge and wisdom. As I write and channel this information I invite you to join me and continue to send me messages and comments. I am blessed to attract such amazing people into my circle of life.
Blessings

The Temple of Love – Our Sacred Space - Aphrodite: Golden Goddess of Love – The Goddess among all people

We all possess some of the qualities of the five Greek Goddesses. At this time I am embracing more of Aphrodite than I have in years. In my maturity and in alignment with the work that I continually do with my five lower bodies (mental, emotional, physical, psychic and spiritual) I am experiencing her much differently.

I am aware of feeling very intimate with myself because I accept who I am more unconditionally. I have been working on a proposal for a radio show I was offered to do and it had me tapping into my comfortable place and pushing deeper into my truth to honesty answer the questions presented.

To fully understand these feelings one must go back to a time when Aphrodite was honored and revered as the Goddess of Love in the temples of ancient times. The temples trained young woman in the pleasure of love and loving. An acolyte had to learn how to look and feel good about herself as a Womyn. She was taught to pay attention to the needs of men to pleasure them and to teach them how to pleasure Womyn. There was ritual and ceremony involved and sex was a sacred union in the Temple.

The Temples were a place of respite for weary travelers and for those who were looking for the sacredness of sexuality. The acolytes were also considered to be teachers and well versed in their fields. Any children birthed in the temples were considered to be the son of God and it was the Temples responsibility to raise them.

Over the past 40 years I have read and researched and absorbed a lot of information around the discovery of the image of the Goddess and anything associated with it. What I have written here comes from that sacred space deep within me that I am connecting with. If you want proof of any of this then you will have to find it for yourself or within yourself. This is what I believe to be true.

I believe that if we taught our children about the sacredness of our Temple, the sacredness of our sexuality it would help them ease a little more through those difficult times of self discovery. I think this would give them a reference point to connect to when they begin to explore. Personally I know that when I consider the value of who I am I tend to make better choices for me and I am less influenced by outside forces.

Find your sacred space within you and dare to feel nurtured and loved and cared for. Encourage yourself to be comfortable in your skin, in your environment, your community, your Universe. Honour your Temple and be love.

How Long Does This Go On?

I don’t know how many times over the many years I’ve been in the Healing Arts Industry have I heard someone say “I have done all my healing”, or ask me “how long is this going to take”. I really try not to laugh but inside I am rolling around on the ground. Every day of my life I am challenged with sorting out one thing or another in my effort to stay clear and grounded.

It does become easier as time goes on but as long as I have life I know that there is a possibility that I will react to one thing or another. It is my intention to not hold on to the stuff floating around me and this allows me to stay empowered at every given moment (most of the time anyway). I may react but as long as I do not become emotionally entangled and pulled into the vortex of blame, shame, guilt, anger, frustration and so on, I am safe.

Unfortunately there is only one way out of this existence so it really is important to make the best of every moment we have here. One of the most debilitating things that I have learned not to hold on to is to not blame someone else for my life circumstances. It is also one of my biggest challenges. I came into this life as a victim, being of ethnic origin during times when it was not accepted, and also living in a household where men were violent.

My challenge is to let go of the child within who finds comfort in hiding in that place of not feeling empowered. This morning I went deep into my being and shifted energy in places I was not aware of. I felt this child hiding and the energy around it had a sense of unworthiness. This is a place where those emotions sneak up on me at the worst time and question the decisions that I am making.

I am grateful that I have the tools to move this energy and to be able to step back and observe how it has affected me in my past. Once the energy has been transcended I feel I have more room for peace and joy in my life. I also know that there are more bits and pieces way down there somewhere that need to be enlightened but I am not going to look for them. Everything happens in its own time just the way it is meant to happen. And honestly…I don’t know how long this is going to go on.

Following my Purpose

The very first time I encountered Afrikan Divination was at a psychic Fair in Vancouver. Before I actually stepped firmly into myself as a Psychic Healer I used to be in awe of Psychic Fairs. Rather I was drawn to them and tried to spend as much time as possible at them. I usually had a reading but would also spend the weekend examining all the different techniques and modalities. It was in the mid eighties that I was introduced to Reiki.

My parents loved to garden and since early childhood I would curiously listen as they shared their relationship with the plants and weeds in the back yard. My grandfather (Mom’s dad) declared that it was only natural for me to show an interest in plants because his first wife, my grandmother used plants for healing.

Hands-on-healing was as natural to me as communing with the vegetation around me. I recall watching an old black and white movies about a faith healer with my mother (maybe it was not so old at the time…) She told me that people actually could help others heal with their hands and then suggested that maybe I could do that. That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that thought stayed with me throughout the years.

My life naturally flowed into being a Spiritual Healer after receiving my Reiki. I participated in psychic fairs throughout the interior of B.C., in Alberta, Ontario and just across the border in Blaine. I enjoy the work immensely and I know that this is my path, my purpose. I am now just learning to relax and enjoy not only my passion as a healer but my passions in life, for living and enjoying life to the fullest.

I am now preparing to step firmly into the role as a Teacher on a wider scale. I have accumulated so much knowledge over the past sixty five years and I know that there are many out there who will benefit from me as I will benefit from them. There are a wide scope of presentations and events to come, just stayed tuned to this site and/or leave a comment, make a suggestion or call or Facebook me. I would also love to collaborate with you on a project.

The Art of Divination - Receiving a reading

Divination has been used as a means of predicting the outcome of life’s mysteries since tribal life existed. At times important decisions were not made unless first consulting with the tribal Divinator and then the right course of action would be taken. Some instances would be illness, war, hunting, traveling, and family and or tribal decisions. Even now we are aware of “signs” to guide us in our daily lives. The readings I provide are a combination of Zulu Divination, Venda Tablets, Astrology, and various decks of tarot.

Divination readings are an excellent way to look at one’s life and get a feel of what is happening from the inside out. A reading of any kind would allow one to be able to take a peak at the circumstances of their life and help in making decisions on what the next step may be.

The readings I perform will enlighten you in areas of your home, family, career, health, finances and all major areas of your life. A session covers the health and well being of your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual bodies. The focus is on the relationship you are having with yourself and others and how they can evolve. My goal is and always will be is to assist you to better understand your contribution to your life’s circumstances and to improve them.

The reading will not foretell fame fortune, gloom or doom. What it will do is open your mind up to what is really occurring in your life and those close to you and allow you to make decisions on the outcomes you choose. You may explore different outcomes and see what the results will be so it does assist in making right choices.

I am honest, compassionate and accurate and I am here to serve you.