How Long Does This Go On?

I don’t know how many times over the many years I’ve been in the Healing Arts Industry have I heard someone say “I have done all my healing”, or ask me “how long is this going to take”. I really try not to laugh but inside I am rolling around on the ground. Every day of my life I am challenged with sorting out one thing or another in my effort to stay clear and grounded.

It does become easier as time goes on but as long as I have life I know that there is a possibility that I will react to one thing or another. It is my intention to not hold on to the stuff floating around me and this allows me to stay empowered at every given moment (most of the time anyway). I may react but as long as I do not become emotionally entangled and pulled into the vortex of blame, shame, guilt, anger, frustration and so on, I am safe.

Unfortunately there is only one way out of this existence so it really is important to make the best of every moment we have here. One of the most debilitating things that I have learned not to hold on to is to not blame someone else for my life circumstances. It is also one of my biggest challenges. I came into this life as a victim, being of ethnic origin during times when it was not accepted, and also living in a household where men were violent.

My challenge is to let go of the child within who finds comfort in hiding in that place of not feeling empowered. This morning I went deep into my being and shifted energy in places I was not aware of. I felt this child hiding and the energy around it had a sense of unworthiness. This is a place where those emotions sneak up on me at the worst time and question the decisions that I am making.

I am grateful that I have the tools to move this energy and to be able to step back and observe how it has affected me in my past. Once the energy has been transcended I feel I have more room for peace and joy in my life. I also know that there are more bits and pieces way down there somewhere that need to be enlightened but I am not going to look for them. Everything happens in its own time just the way it is meant to happen. And honestly…I don’t know how long this is going to go on.