Dysable the Enabler

Unfortunately today addictions of many kind are common in society. There must be many of us who are exposed to loved ones and friends dealing with addictions and maybe at one time we may have had our own story to tell. For some reason society has managed to create a need for drugs that is being filled and creating so many problems. We have fear now over drugs that kill as well as the "usual" fears around drug abuse. Being there as a support for others trying to conquer addiction is a place we may find our self in at some point in our lives. Unfortunately not everyone believes in rehabilitation centres so there have to be alternate paths to healing. We may make ourselves available to help someone but if we are not a drug counsellor or if we have not had the life experience our self we may have to be careful about how much help we can actually offer. When we try to help a family member, we could run into all types of unexpected problems because we may be just too close to the situation to see what is going on and what is truly needed. We may find ourselves trying to help someone with their drug issues and maybe we come to realize that we are not really helping at all. There is such a thin line between helping and enabling so it is a sticky, tricky path to walk. If you have someone who actually is being successful in overcoming drugs that you are helping, there is that chance that they may begin to see you as their Savior and that is a shaky path to walk upon.

When we choose to idolize another, we dig a hole for our self which is really hard to climb out of while we see another as our reason for being happy. I am not saying that you don't need someone who can help but when you become so attached to that other that you begin to idolize them, then there may by trouble ahead. If something happens where this person is no longer in your life, what will you do, how will you cope. Will life be worth living? The problem will continue to exist until you learn to recognize the Creator within you. You must learn to see the good within you that creates and manifests all that is in your life. Giving everything you are to another will eventually make you feel less, and brings about insecurities and doubts that you can actually be and do you on your own. Not only for you but for the one you choose to give your power away to. No one can live up to being put on a pedestal unless they truly are egotistical. It feels so good when someone recognizes the good within us and compliments us and thanks us but to constantly have to live up to the image of being "the great one" who fixes everything and everyone can bite deeply into ones self esteem as we try hard to live up to the image and think we have to continue to fix everything. It is so much easier at least for me when I give it back to the person by acknowledging that they are the ones that chose to heal and move forward in their life and they are the one doing the work to better their lives.

One way to bypass this dilemma of becoming an enabler is when your worshipper is giving you thanks for once again fixing them, to somehow mention the Creator, or God or the Goddess, whatever Higher Power that you and/or they believe in. Pass the thanks in that direction and encourage the other to give thanks to their Source. Connecting with our Source, our Higher Power is a healthy way of letting go of any addictive problem whether it be mental, physical, or spiritual. Give them back their power in some way and let them know that it is with the guidance of the Creator that their healing was made possible. Encourage them to have faith and to believe in not only themselves but the power of the Universe to provide them with what they need at any given time.

Embracing the Divine within is being able to see and feel the light within us, that place where creativity and goodness exists, that place of healing. When we connect with and hold on to that feeling we experience the true love that we have for our self and are able to share this with those around us. This is where self hatred and fear melts away, where we can find that familiar place within that we call home. So just try to make it a daily practise to give thanks to the Creator for your life and your dreams, passions and that which make up your daily routine and each day you will feel more satisfied, more fulfilled with this gratitude.

Addictions and Committment

Addictions/the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.: "he committed the theft to finance his drug addiction" "an addiction to gambling".
Commitment/the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.: "the company's commitment to quality".

This is a great time of the year to be observant of our addictions because it is most likely the one time of the year that we have such great excuses to indulge in them. It’s the holiday season, a time to celebrate, and overeat and overspend and forget about commitments we may have. How did the Holiday season, or Christmas become such a trap for our obsession with the material? How brainwashed have we become that we make the choices some of us may make. Like drinking and driving for instance. I sat in a karaoke bar the other night and had two guys almost attempt to force me to let them buy me a drink all night. I told them I had been drinking earlier before dinner and did not want to put any more alcohol in my body because I wanted to be able to drive home. At one time they both came at me together and one of them begged me to let him buy me a drink and the bartender stood back waiting for me to say yes. I sat choking on my words for a minute and thought of saying yes and not drinking the drink but I was in a bar and I am only human and I knew that I would be very tempted to finish the drink if it was in front of me. I know I scrunched up my face and shook my head and just replied ”No, I can’t, I really want to drive home”, and I ordered a cranberry and soda just to have something other than water in front of me. That seemed to ease their need to buy me a drink also. I watched at the end of the night as one of them who was very drunk got into his car and drove off and I wished I had convinced him to take a cab instead. I guess my commitment to healthy living outweighed the pressure put upon to drink and drive.

This is probably one of the biggest excuses we give ourselves for falling into our addictive pattern; Other people’s expectations that we join them in a “simple” drink, or puff, or toke, or taste of something and they will give us so many good reasons why we should. Also if we are shopaholics we tell ourselves that it makes us feel good to shop or we are just going to go out “window” shopping and not spend any money (yeah right). It could be gambling where we convince ourselves that the next one is the winner or maybe we believe we can do it just one more time and stop. This time of the year is great for food addicts because people are always wanting you to eat something and it is so easy to say “oh well its Christmas”, or “I’ll make a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet” (this is a good one for all addictions)

The only thing I can say is that life is about making a commitment to having a good life. No one is going to make your life that way you need it to be to make you happy. No one is to blame if your life is not going the way you want it to. No one but you is being hurt by your addictions, others may choose to suffer because you are not doing well but that would be their choice, you are still the one causing the pain for you. I am not a dedicated Christian but I believe in and love Jesus. Jesus was so committed to living his life connected to the Source, to the One God as it came to be known that he would not allow anyone to make him waver on his path. He believed so passionately in his connection that he was able to perform miracles. He had great faith which made him who he was. It is this same faith and commitment that we must find within ourselves in order to overcome the urges that we may have to fall into our old habits. We have to believe in something more powerful, wiser, and more loving than we are and have faith this Power, we can call God, or the Universe, or Higher Consciousness, or Buddha, or Goddess, whatever feels right, will guide us on our journey in life. I believe that it is this “Power” that is so loving when we allow ourselves to a part of it, that fills us with unconditional love of self and helps to remove the urges to be in need of material, mental, physical, or emotional satisfactions. When you fill your spirit with the power of Universal love you are no longer in need or in lack. This is when Majik can occur in your life.

So give yourself the gift of love this Holiday season and share this with all those around you and expect miracles to happen. Happy Holidays to you and please build a loving foundation to begin the next year with.

Hold On!: - Life is good

We are all powerful beings although we often do not see or recognize our-self as such.

We all have our strengths, things that we are good at but we also have weaknesses. I believe that we have accomplished something in our lives that we felt we could not achieve. No matter how small it may seem to be right now just for this moment accept it as a success in your life. There has to be a moment in your existence when you told yourself “ Gee I never really thought I could get here, or do this” or some similar response.

Now if only we could hold on to those moments; trap them within our-self and pull them out when we need a good kick n the butt. But who says we can't? Just follow along as I ponder on this based on my own life experiences. Now can you recall the first time ever that you felt depressed? Unhappy? Sad? I bet you that this is an easy place to remember (more than likely easier to feel than your last moment of success) and for many of us familiar. I think depression is a chronic illness that drags sad and unhappy along with it and disappointment, and frustration are close behind. You may have your own personal stragglers that follow along this path also as I do. It is so much easier to move into this mood because sometimes we are so unaware that we go there. Depression is like comfort food, we know it may not be good for us for so many reasons but what the heck, we indulge anyway.

Depression is a state of being that I have great respect for because if you let it grab you by the nose and pull you through you will find yourself swimming in some rather murky, gooey waters. The one good thing about it is that it is one of those things that we choose to attach our-self to, kind of like our other addictions so trust me there is always a choice with any addiction no matter how hard it may seem.. It's funny I see people who say they are depressed and after speaking with them I may find out that they have some type of addiction, let's say alcohol, or marijuana or maybe both which may be either a cause of their state of being or a byproduct. An addict may be in great denial and refer to them self as a social drinker/ smoker and may be eager to point out others that are alcoholics and never seeing there own addictive behaviour. This could be anyone from any walk of life, from a social drop out to anything in between or a hard working person making good money and never really getting anywhere because they have directed their passion to their addiction and that which they have not accomplished in their lives.

Now I am going to run amok and paint a scenario of an addictive personality which many of us have.
So let's say we are dealing with a drinker and a marijuana smoker combo being a person who drinks every day and has to smoke a few joints per day. This could also be someone addicted to emotional drama, material possessions, food, sex, you name your game as you see fit. Now we all have our levels of functioning and we have different lives to live. So this person has a regular routine and functions well within it. Usually, they are in lack emotionally maybe focusing a lot of attention to the past and how hard their life was and maybe trying to reach out for what they think they have missed in their lives. So as they say you get what you put out and struggling becomes the theme of their existence and they attract more of what they are lacking(bringing back visions of my past now). Usually, they find someone or something to blame their neediness on and may convince them self this is a valid reason for being depressed, addicted, unhappy frustrated, etc.

Well yeah, been there done that for some time. Then one day, maybe 3 decades ago I actually heard and got a message from several sources, “don't allow yourself to be depressed for more than that fifteen minutes; after that focus your attention on something else.” I tried it and I had to redirect my attention several times but after awhile I began to forget to be depressed because I was too busy doing something else. Funny how that works! I dare you to try it out and let me know or maybe I am just that weird that it worked for me, Anyway it is a technique that I still use to climb out of the dumps. If you are really struggling, I suggest you get help from some type of professional because honestly, I work every day on my stuff just to stay afloat. I think that as long as I live I will be a participant in this school of life. I have been in the Wellness business for many decades and have a trunk full of gifts that I work with (very compressed one at that) and although I don't preach to everyone but I do enjoy writing my thoughts down and sharing. This is also a great way to move those ever-flowing stream of thoughts, write or preach if you may, just get things moving away from you. Stop holding on to heavy thoughts and ideas, learn to move yourself up and away from them (in your mind's eye literally) rise above them and learn to breathe in deep into your soul. Try walking in nature at least three days a week, find a park or plot of grass, garden or tree to connect with if you have to as nature is truly the Universes healing force. These are things that really work for me the best is walking in a forest for at least an hour. This brings me to a place of peace within that stays with me for days (a few hours in greenery or by water).


I am proud to be a student in the University of Life and I know that every day is a lesson in living. I work towards leaving struggles behind me and making the way for more light and love. I am once again focusing on a drama free life to leave room for more joy and passion. It is a challenge with so much family and friends around but the best things we can do for each is other is to not bite into each other stress and worry. Share good times with each other and respect each other's space. Remember who you are in that place of quiet and hold on to that. Life is good